


None But You

by gluupor



Series: AFTG Andreil Bingo 2018 [3]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: AFTG Bingo 2018, Alternate Universe, Background Polyamory, Blood, Broken Bones, Demisexual neil, Except Andrew the Gay Disaster, Families of Choice, Getting Back Together, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Matt is a good bro, Multi, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Prompt: Old flame, Prompt: Self-proclaimed love interest, Prompt: Slow burn, Slow Burn, assumed/implied Kevin Day/Andrew Minyard, character injury, everyone is bi, instead of exy Kevin is obsessed with squash, the sport not the vegetable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-23 18:27:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16624157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gluupor/pseuds/gluupor
Summary: When Neil was eighteen he met and fell for Andrew Minyard. Their relationship seemed solid and unbreakable until Neil's mother found out about it and made him end it.Six years later Neil still has a few regrets about breaking up with Andrew but he's completely over it. Really, he is. Although he does have to admit that it was easier to be over it before Andrew walked back into his life and started dating someone else.A modern day adaptation of Jane Austen's Persuasion.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for AFTG Bingo Andreil card squares Old flame, Slow burn, and Self-proclaimed love interest.

"You're early," said Thea, opening the door.

"Wow," drawled Neil. "What a warm welcome. I feel so loved."

"Tone it down a notch you drama queen," she replied, while reaching forward to ruffle his hair and pull him and his luggage into the house. "You're lucky I'm home; we weren't expecting you until tomorrow," she continued as she led him into the living room.

"Someone from work offered me a ride; what was I supposed to do, say no?"

"You could have let us know you were coming early."

"My phone's dead."

"Did you charge it?" she asked, settling into a blanket nest on the couch. Neil sat in a nearby armchair and kicked his feet up on the coffee table.

"Clearly not, since it's dead," he said.

Thea laughed richly. "It's good to see you," she said. "Do you want anything to drink? If yes, get it yourself. I'm feeling crampy."

"You're such a good host."

"Eh," she said, shrugging, "you're practically family. If you want someone to wait on you wait until Matt gets home."

"Are he and Dan up at the Wymacks'?"

"We have friends other than Dan's immediate family," said Thea with false affront.

"Do you?" asked Neil in surprise. "Who?" Palmetto was a small town where everyone knew everyone else which meant that their social circle was tiny.

"Someone finally bought the old Elliot place and is fixing it up. You know, the place down on Kellynch?"

"Yes, I know it," said Neil with amusement, "considering I used to live there with my mother."

"I always forget that you aren't actually a Boyd or a Wymack," Thea said thoughtfully. "Anyway a married couple close to our age moved in: Nicky and Erik Klose. You might actually have met Nicky before; apparently his cousin's from the area."

"I don't recall anyone named Klose."

"No, you wouldn't. He changed his name when he got married and his cousin didn't share his last name anyway. Now, what was his name…?" she muttered. "He left town for good not long after I got here… short, blond, angry…?"

"You don't mean Aaron Minyard?" asked Neil, his heart in his throat.

"Yes, that's him. Did you know him?"

"Very slightly." It was Aaron's brother who Neil had once known almost better than he knew himself.

"Well Nicky says he fell in love with the town during his visits with Aaron when he was younger. When he and Erik decided to start the adoption process they wanted to move here."

"And they're good people?"

"We like them," said Thea stoutly. "Nicky's a little chatty for me, personally, but in general they're great. And it's nice to have other people our age in the neighbourhood, especially since Laila and Al moved out west last fall."

"Well you have me for the next two months."

"Ah, yes: Neil Josten, social butterfly."

"Hey, I could have _not_ visited and left you here alone all summer with only Kevin and Jeremy for company," he threatened.

"Only Kevin, I'm afraid. Jeremy's off visiting his sister for the next six weeks, so get ready to play a lot of squash."

"I always am, when Kevin's around."

"Aren't we all," she said dryly.

They chatted inconsequentially for a while, catching up on the last couple months since they'd seen each other. Matt and Dan returned about forty-five minutes later.

"Honey, we're ho-ome," called Matt as they entered the house.

"Come here and see what the cat dragged in," Thea called back.

Matt entered the living room, freezing completely when he caught sight of Neil. Neil stood in anticipation of his greeting. Sure enough, Matt bounded across the room and enveloped him completely.

"Neil!" he cried happily. "You're early!"

"Is Neil here?" exclaimed Dan, following Matt into the room. "You weren't supposed to be here until tomorrow!" She joined in with their hug.

"I could leave and come back," Neil offered, his voice muffled against Matt's chest.

"Nope," said Matt, dropping a smacking kiss on Neil's curls. "You're ours for the next two months."

Neil soaked in their love and affection, craving it after months spent far away. The four of them soon moved into the kitchen to make dinner. Matt wouldn't let Neil help on his first night there, so he sat on a stool at the island, letting their teasing banter and casual intimacy wash over him. He missed this during the year, the way the three of them weaved around and through each other like a complete unit. He always felt as if he belonged here: separate from the three of them but still included, an essential part of their family.

When they sat down to eat, Thea brought up Dan and Matt's visit to the Kloses, asking after them.

"Nicky was all in a tizzy, so it's good you didn't go," said Dan. "He would have gotten on your last nerve immediately."

"Plus if you'd gone then Neil would have had to sit and wait for us on the porch like a lost puppy," added Matt.

"What's Nicky so excited about?" asked Thea.

"Apparently his cousin is coming to visit," said Dan. Neil paused in his chewing, but then made himself resume eating normally.

"The one in medical school?" guessed Thea. "Aaron?"

"No, Aaron's twin," said Dan.

"Andrew," Neil breathed out.

Matt looked over at him in surprise. "You know him?"

Neil shook his head, not wanting to disclose a long-held secret. "A little. He was here visiting Aaron the summer after I graduated high school."

Matt's brow wrinkled in confusion. "I don't remember that."

"We didn't come home from college that summer, remember?" said Dan. "You took summer courses and then we got jobs as counsellors at that camp for disadvantaged youth."

"Oh, right," said Matt. He turned towards Neil accusingly, "You didn't return my calls or texts that summer."

"I was angry at you for abandoning me," shrugged Neil. And he'd been too wrapped up in Andrew to pay attention to anything else.

"Apparently you made new friends," said Dan. "What's he like? Nicky was very vague on the subject except to say that Andrew's a great guy, deep down."

"Which basically means that's he's _not_ great on the surface," said Thea.

"I don't know him anymore," said Neil. "I'm sure he's changed in the last six years."

"Come on, you've got to give us something!" protested Dan.

"Well we do know a couple of his relatives. Is he more like Nicky or Aaron?" asked Matt.

"Aaron," said Neil immediately. "Only more likely to stab you."

* * *

The summer before Neil left for college started out dull. He only had three friends: neither Dan nor Matt returned home from school and Kevin was spending the summer in Europe with his mother instead of visiting his father like usual. His mother's paranoia and need to control him, stemming from worry that his abusive father would track them down through his restraining order, had been getting progressively worse as Neil got closer to leaving for school. As a result he spent most of his time outside of the house. He ran the trails in the town's surrounding wilderness, and lounged by the community pool, and went to the gym, which was where he met Andrew.

He'd thought it was Aaron at first, surprised to see how much he'd bulked up since school had let out. They'd both attended the local public school, but ran in very different crowds. Aaron was a hardworking, academically-gifted science nerd, while Neil played on most of the school's sports teams.

Neil would later learn that Andrew was, like him, avoiding spending time with his biological mother. She'd given Andrew up for adoption when he was a baby but had kept Aaron. Andrew had had a fairly awful childhood in foster care before he was adopted. His adopted mother, a psychiatrist, was spending the summer at a series of workshops and conferences across the country and had thought that it would be nice for Andrew to spend some time getting to know his biological family instead of travelling with her and being bored. Her plan backfired as Aaron was busy working in order to help pay for college and had no time during the day for Andrew. Until he'd met Neil he'd mostly spent his days wandering aimlessly as he had no desire to spend time in awkward silence with his biological mother who clearly felt guilty for giving him up.

Neil and Andrew started meeting up every day and Neil found himself falling for someone for the first time ever. He'd never been interested in anyone of any gender and had never felt compelled to kiss or date. It was different with Andrew. They traded secrets, Andrew's calm apathy soothing Neil's frayed edges when he recounted his childhood abuse by his father, while Andrew's own dark history ignited a protective rage within Neil that he'd never felt before. They shared kisses, and more, neither of them very experienced but willing to experiment together. Neil finally understood why other people spoke highly of love and dating. He felt safe and content and was certain their relationship would last for a long time.

Until his mother found out.

Neil still wasn't sure if she was opposed to him kissing a boy or if she was opposed to him kissing anyone. She'd cried and raged, begging him to stop. She claimed that it was a teenage fling, that it couldn't last after he left for college, that the distance would ruin them. She told him that she'd heard stories about Andrew, that he was a violent man just like Neil's father. She called him an ungrateful son, throwing away everything that she had sacrificed to keep him safe. She threatened to throw him out, to cut him off completely and leave him alone if he didn't break off the relationship.

In the face of her distress and threats, Neil caved. He told Andrew that they couldn't see each other anymore, that it was over. Andrew had been angry for a couple heartbeats before his blank mask had slid into place. He'd called Neil a pipe dream and an untrustworthy runaway and had left without further fanfare. Neil wanted to run after him, apologize, and beg him not to leave. Instead, he did as his mother wished and he'd not seen Andrew again.

Neil never told Dan or Matt about it once it was over and done with. He'd tried dating in college but he'd never been able to find what he'd lost along with Andrew.

If he still had regrets, what did they matter? They affected no one but him.

* * *

Neil didn't let himself think about the fact that Andrew would once again be in town and tried to relax into the feelings of home and belonging that he associated with Dan and Matt and Thea. The weather was unseasonably cool and rainy, so they spent the next few days indoors, sprawled over couches, cuddling and watching Netflix.

"I'm surprised Kevin hasn't stormed over yet to drag me off to train with him," remarked Neil on the third day.

"Because a recreational summer squash ladder requires so much training," said Thea dryly.

"You're acting like you've never met Kevin before," said Neil. "He made sure that I properly signed up last January and he's been sending me training plans since March."

"What a loser," said Thea with fondness in her voice.

"Who you used to date," pointed out Matt.

"Come on, Matt, we all have regrets about unsuitable people we dated as teenagers," said Dan, then, after a pause, "Well, except Neil."

"I dated _you_ as a teenager," said Matt.

"You _also_ dated a guy nicknamed Gorilla," taunted Neil, glad to keep the spotlight off his perceived lack of dating experience.

Matt grimaced. "I take your point."

"So we don't care that Kevin's probably dead?" said Neil, forcing them back to his original point.

Dan heaved a put upon sigh. " _Fine_ ," she said. "I'll text dad."

"You could text Kevin," said Neil.

"That might make him come over," said Dan, typing out her message.

"You're such a kind and loving sister," said Matt.

Dan flipped him off while concentrating on her phone. "Dad says he's fine," she said after her phone buzzed with an incoming message, "just that he's been busy with Nicky's cousin. Apparently Kevin's convinced him to join the squash ladder." She shrugged. "Sorry, Neil, looks like you're not his favourite anymore." Her phone buzzed again. "Oh, and we're all invited for dinner tomorrow; my parents want to see you."

"Sounds good," said Neil. He liked Coach and Abby; he'd spent countless hours at their house as a teenager when Dan lived there and Kevin spent his summers with them.

It hadn't occurred to Neil until he entered the Wymacks' house that other people may have been invited. Along with Coach and Abby and Kevin there were three other people: two men he didn't recognize and Andrew Minyard. Andrew's unexpected presence hit him like a punch. He barely managed to hide his discomfort as he was introduced to Nicky and Erik Klose and their cousin.

"Neil," said Andrew, blinking rapidly but otherwise remaining blank. "I didn't know you still lived in Palmetto."

"I don't," said Neil in a slightly strangled tone. "I'm just spending the summer with the Boydanimacks."

"Do _not_ call us that," said Thea, popping him in the back of the head.

Neil drifted away to greet and catch up with Coach and Abby while resolutely ignoring the half of the room where Andrew was. He tried to keep away from Andrew as much as possible all evening, not wanting anyone to notice his discomfort. Unfortunately, he wasn't successful; he ran into Andrew after dinner when exiting the washroom.

There was a brief, awkward pause. "I heard about your mother," said Andrew, breaking it.

Neil inclined his head in acknowledgement. He was glad that Andrew didn't express any false sympathy or say that he was sorry. He had never been fond of Neil's mother and it would have been disingenuous for him to pretend that he had been now that she was dead.

She'd died suddenly during Neil's sophomore year of college. Afterwards he had found out that she had been diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer and had forgone treatment without telling him. He had many things to be angry at her about but he wasn't sure that he'd ever forgive her for not preparing him for her death.

"Are you in town long?" asked Neil after fishing about for something innocuous to say.

"I don't know yet; I'm job hunting."

Neil nodded. "Good luck with that," he said and took his leave, feeling off balance because the person who he had once known so well was little more than a stranger.

He ended the evening sitting with Nicky and Erik and getting to know them. Nicky was in high spirits, happy that his cousin seemed to be fitting in and making friends. Andrew and Kevin had spent all evening socializing mainly with each other.

"I'm so happy," confided Nicky. "I was going to try to set him up with one of my friends, but now I don't have to!"

"Oh," said Neil, feeling queasy. "Are they dating?"

"If not yet, then soon," said Nicky conspiratorially. "I've never seen Andrew pay so much attention to any one person before."

Kevin was probably the last person that Neil would have suspected Andrew to be interested in, given his inability to take no for an answer; however, he had to concede that Nicky knew Andrew better than Neil did these days and that Andrew had spent all evening with Kevin while ignoring Neil.

Speaking when they returned home, Thea agreed with Nicky. "Kevin seems smitten," she said.

"No way," said Dan. "You know how he is with anyone who is even moderately talented at squash. He's excited about having someone new to focus on but I'm sure his long-standing crush on Jeremy Knox isn't going anywhere."

"If anything were going to happen between Jeremy and Kevin it would have by now," argued Thea. "Mark my words, we just met Kevin's new boyfriend."

"Nicky agrees with Thea," Neil said, forcing the words out. They tasted like ash in his mouth. "And Kevin didn't even harass me a little about training with him."

"That's settled, then," said Thea.

"It's not," said Dan.

"Why don't we wait and see?" asked Matt, acting as the peacekeeper.

Neither Dan nor Thea were definitively proved correct over the next few weeks.

Supporting Thea's claim that they were dating, Kevin and Andrew seemed to spend all their time together. Andrew even came along when Kevin had eventually remembered Neil's existence and begun their training regimen. Neil wasn't quite sure why Andrew attended as he was clearly not enjoying himself (and as Kevin spent most of his time complaining that Andrew wasn't putting forth enough effort) but then he remembered how Andrew had agreed to go on runs with Neil the summer they spent together. It had taken Neil a while to realize that Andrew hated running but had wanted to spend time with Neil - something that Andrew had vehemently denied doing, never wanting to show any vulnerability or softness.

Supporting Dan's claim that they were just friends, Kevin and Andrew never did anything remotely couple-like. Neil, who was aware of Andrew's intense desire for privacy, did not precisely agree with Dan that this was conclusive evidence of a lack of relationship. In fact, he thought that they were probably together and he found it excruciating to be regularly spending time with his ex that he still had feelings for and said ex's likely new boyfriend who was also one of Neil's closest friends.

He and Andrew hadn't spoken at all past that first night, something that either wasn't noticed or remarked upon by the others. As they were both men of few words in group social situations, this wasn't particularly surprising. Andrew barely even seemed to notice his presence now, something which hurt Neil keenly. Once, he'd had all of Andrew's attention and interest but he'd foolishly given it up.

"Neil?" said Matt in a sleepy voice, understandably confused at finding Neil awake in the middle of the night, eating cookies at the kitchen table in the dark. "What's up, buddy?"

"I'm sad," said Neil forlornly, years of repressing his feelings catching up with him.

Matt wrapped his arms around Neil's neck and rested his chin on top of his head. "About anything in particular?"

"No." He wasn't about to tell anyone that his misery was his own fault.

Matt kissed his forehead. "Alright, let's get you back to bed."

He escorted Neil back to his room where he climbed into bed with him and held him tightly. It was something that Neil had needed after his mother had suddenly died to help quell his panic attacks. After she had left his father she had spent years not being able to sleep without holding Neil tightly, protecting him against whoever her paranoia had thought was after them. Neil had made her stop when he was in his teens but once she'd died he'd needed the comfort in order to sleep. He'd spent many nights bracketed by Dan and Matt squeezing him tightly. He didn't know where he'd be without them.

"Tighter," he requested. Matt's arms gripped him to an almost painful degree, making him feel safe and surrounded. Andrew might not care about him anymore but this reminded him that he was still loved.

* * *

After that, tried to focus on the positives. He hadn't wanted to cause Andrew any pain and now Andrew had moved on. He vowed to be happy that Andrew seemed happy. It was all temporary anyway; eventually Andrew would get a job and move away (there were very few available jobs in Palmetto: the main employer was the nearby prestigious private boarding school where Matt, Dan, Thea, Kevin, Jeremy, and Coach all worked) and Neil would go back to DC and continue to spend summers and holidays with his family who loved and supported him no matter what.

In the meantime he just had to weather frequently being the in presence of Andrew and Kevin. He was relieved when Jeremy returned to town and joined their training sessions. Jeremy seemed a little bemused by Andrew and Kevin's assumed relationship, looking on with not a little consternation.

Neil and Jeremy had the relations of two people who shared friends but didn't know each other well. They'd always gotten along but knew almost nothing about each other beyond surface details.

"I don't know how Neil handles being alone while the other three are together all the time," Jeremy was saying as Neil headed towards the change room from the showers. He was often last in the showers and the other three had already gone on ahead. And were apparently discussing him.

The adult thing to do would be to enter the room, despite the inherent awkwardness of walking in on people talking about him, so of course Neil plastered himself against the wall and eavesdropped as if he were Harry Potter wandering around in his invisibility cloak.

"You do know that he's not dating the three of them, right?" asked Kevin.

"I did not," replied Jeremy.

"Common mistake," said Kevin. "Dan and Matt have tried to seduce him and I'm pretty sure that Thea would be on board, but he's definitely ace and probably aro, too. I asked him about it once and he said that he'd had bad experiences dating. Too many people wanting more than he was willing to give."

His first year of college, after Andrew, Neil had tried to move on and find someone new. But nobody had understood him or respected his boundaries and the few times he'd been kissed he found himself feeling queasy and dirty and wrong. He'd given up before long, bitterly thinking that at least his mother would be happy.

The conversation inside the change room shifted, so Neil slipped in unobtrusively. He changed quickly while facing away from everyone to minimize their view of his scarred chest. He felt eyes on him while he was tying his shoes and looked up to find Andrew watching him, his stare intense and full of some unnamed emotion. Neil cocked his head in question but Andrew calmly slid his gaze off him, a vaguely troubled look on his face.

Neil wondered what he had done to get Andrew's attention.

That evening everybody had been invited for a make-your-own-pizza night at Nicky and Erik's. Their kitchen turned into a disaster zone: Kevin predictably became competitive about pizza making as Thea argued with him over proper pizza construction; Jeremy wouldn't stop eating the toppings even though Dan was slapping his hands away from them; Matt kept ripping holes in his dough and badly patching it. Neil stood apart from everyone and watched the chaos.

Andrew suddenly appeared at his side, nodding towards the sliding glass door that led to the patio before heading outside. Neil followed in puzzlement.

Andrew lit a cigarette. "Kevin said that…" he said before trailing off. "Did I…" he tried again. "Was it because…" He growled in frustration before visibly steeling himself. "That summer," he ground out, "did I do something you didn't want?"

Neil blinked in confusion a couple times trying to parse what Andrew was asking. Then he put together what Kevin had said earlier with Andrew's question. "No," he said firmly. "You always asked for my consent."

"You didn't feel forced?"

"Never with you," said Neil, hoping to set Andrew's mind at ease.

Somehow it had the opposite effect. "Did someone hurt you?" he asked lowly, dangerously. "Kevin said you had bad experiences."

Neil suddenly realized how someone with Andrew's history would interpret his words. He felt warmed that even though Andrew was indifferent to him now he still cared enough to express anger against those who would cause him harm. "More uncomfortable than bad," he said. "I'm not sure dating is for me."

"Because you're asexual."

Neil could see that Andrew was still struggling with the idea that he may have somehow coerced Neil into doing something he didn't truly want. "Demisexual, actually," he said. "Andrew. I told you yes. I enjoyed everything we did together. You did nothing wrong."

Andrew swallowed heavily and then nodded sharply, turning to head back into the house.

* * *

As the end of summer drew nearer, Neil's time in Palmetto was quickly coming to an end. Kevin suggested that they hold a four day squash tournament to celebrate his departure; Matt countered that they should have a barbeque and fireworks. During their argument Andrew nonchalantly mentioned that he'd be away for the end of summer as a friend of his had rented a beach house with her boyfriend. Andrew was going to visit them for several days.

"The beach could work," said Kevin thoughtfully. "We could play volleyball."

"Kevin, it's rude and presumptuous to invite yourself on other people's vacations," sighed Dan.

Kevin dismissed her. "No, it's a great idea. We'll all go to the beach."

"Uhh," said Matt, glancing at Andrew.

"I don't care if you come," said Andrew, "but if you're planning to stay for more than one day you'll have to find your own accommodations."

"That's fair," said Dan. "What do you guys say? Beach?"

"I'm not _opposed_ to spending a couple days at the beach," said Thea lazily.

"As long as Andrew's friends don't mind us crashing their vacation," said Matt. Neil nodded his acceptance of Matt's caveat.

"Sadly, we can't," said Nicky. "We're going out of town while Andrew's away."

"And I want to get some stuff done around the house before the new school term starts," said Jeremy. "So I guess it's just the five of you plus Andrew."

Dan and Kevin were responsible for the logistics of the trip to which Neil didn't pay much attention. He regretted it immediately on the morning that they left for the beach upon finding out that he was getting a ride from Andrew. He balked at the prospect of being in an enclosed space with Kevin and Andrew for at least four hours.

"There's six people and two cars," said Dan. She, Matt, and Thea were packing up their SUV while waiting for Andrew to come pick up Neil. "It just makes more sense to split up three and three."

"Plus there's no way that I'm sharing the backseat with you," said Thea. "I like to spread out."

"So _you_ go with Andrew and Kevin," said Neil desperately.

"You want me to go in a car with my high school ex and his possible boyfriend?" asked Thea incredulously, not realizing how close she was hitting to home for Neil. "When I could be travelling with my boyfriend and girlfriend? Make me." Neil considered fighting her but she straightened to her full height and looked down at him, raising a challenging eyebrow. He slumped.

"Why don't you want to go with them, anyway?" asked Matt.

"I'm leaving in less than a week," said Neil, making his eyes big and earnest. "I want to spend as much time as possible with you."

Matt visibly wavered but Thea scoffed. "Cut the dramatics. What's the real reason?"

"I'm just tired of being a fifth wheel," Neil muttered.

"Aha!" said Thea, pointing at him. "Neil agrees with me that they're dating!" She triumphantly directed the comment to Dan.

Matt rolled his eyes. Neither he nor Neil had weighed in on the women's ongoing disagreement, much to their joint displeasure. "I can't believe you abandoned Team Switzerland. We were all happy and neutral."

"Don't worry, I'm still with the fence-sitters," said Neil, definitely not wanting to get involved.

"You just don't want to piss off Dan," Thea complained. "I know you agree with me."

"Why _would_ I want to piss off Dan?"

Dan laughed. "Smart boy," she said, just as Andrew's sleek, black car screeched to a stop in front of the house.

Matt hugged Neil and pushed him towards the car. "It'll be fine," he said. "See you at the beach!"

"Luggage?" asked Andrew as Neil climbed into the back seat.

Neil jerked his thumb towards the SUV. "They're bringing it."

Andrew nodded once, turned the stereo up to deafening, and peeled away from the curb.

The drive didn't end up being as awkward as Neil had feared as the loud music prevented any conversation. Kevin attempted to lower the volume a couple times but Andrew smacked his hand away from the stereo every time he reached for it.

They stopped at a diner about halfway through the trip. Kevin spent the meal sulking while Andrew gazed out the window at his car. Neil wondered if Andrew had told Kevin about his history with Neil, if he had given Kevin any of the secrets that Neil had once traded for. He stirred his coffee listlessly and avoided looking at either of them.

The second half of the trip passed similarly to the first and before long Andrew was dropping Kevin and Neil off at their hotel. They'd booked two rooms in a small but well-reviewed place that wasn't far from where Andrew's friends were staying. Matt, Dan, and Thea were obviously going to share one room which meant that Neil was stuck rooming with Kevin.

("See!" Dan had crowed. "If they were dating wouldn't Andrew invite Kevin to stay with him?"

"Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable inviting his boyfriend to stay with him in a house where he's a guest?" Thea had countered.)

Kevin changed his clothes as soon as they got to their room and announced his intentions to check out the hotel's gym and insisted that Neil come with him.

"I don't have a change of clothes, my luggage isn't here yet," Neil pointed out.

"You can go in what you're wearing," said Kevin.

Neil looked down at his ratty jeans. "No," he said. "Dan texted to say that they were almost here; I'll go wait for them in the lobby."

"Suit yourself," said Kevin snottily.

Neil found a couch near the check-in counter and planted himself there, amusing himself by playing Words With Friends on his phone.

"Oh my god, Neil?" a voice called out.

Neil looked up to see… a woman he didn't recognize. He narrowed his eyes in confusion.

"It's me, Marissa," she said. When Neil still didn't respond, she continued. "We went to college together? Sophomore year Spanish?"

"Oh, hi," said Neil. He still didn't recognize her but realized that she was going to keep giving him small details about herself until he said something.

"Wow, it's so weird seeing you!" she said. "What are you doing here; I thought you lived in DC?"

"Vacation," said Neil. "How do you know where I live?"

"Oh, I have my sources," she said enigmatically. "Anyway, I'm so glad to see you. I've just recently moved to your neck of the woods, we should get together sometime!"

"Why," said Neil flatly.

She trilled a laugh. "I forgot how funny you are. Here, I'll give you my number." She handed him a business card.

"I'm not going to call you," he said, staring at the card blankly. It smelled strongly of some flowery perfume.

"No worries, I'm sure we'll run into each other," she said. "I have to run now, but I'll see you soon!" She exited the hotel, passing Matt and Dan and Thea who had just arrived.

"Wow," drawled Matt, who had heard the tail end of the conversation. "That was harsh, Neil."

"I've learned that I have to be in order for people to get clued in that I'm not interested," said Neil, discarding the business card in the nearest trash can.

"I'm pretty sure that girl does not have a clue," said Thea.

He shrugged. "It's a big city. How is she going to find me?"

Neil helped the three of them unpack their car and get settled into their room. Kevin showed up before too long, banging on their door to tell them that Andrew's friends wanted to meet them at a nearby restaurant for lunch.

When they arrived at the restaurant they found not-unfamiliar faces. Andrew's friend, Renee, had brought along her boyfriend, Jean (who knew Kevin and Thea from high school), and another friend, Allison (who had attended to Palmetto Academy with Dan). Neil and Matt had met Allison several times during their high school years but they had not attended the ridiculously expensive private school. Dan had only been able to go because of the generous scholarships given to the children of staff.

They split into three distinct groups: Renee and Andrew weren't paying attention to anyone but each other, Kevin and Thea were catching up with Jean, and Allison had zeroed in on the rest of them.

"Dan Wymack, Matt Boyd, and Neil Josten," she addressed them. "This brings me back. You're all still living in Palmetto?"

"Except Neil," said Dan. "The rest of us are teaching at the Academy."

Allison laughed sharply. "Better you than me. I remember what spoiled horrors went to that school."

"What have you been up to?" asked Dan. "I think I remember getting a Facebook notification that you were engaged?"

"I _was_ ," said Allison slowly. "But he died, so." She shrugged and waved them off as they expressed their condolences. "I'm over it. Renee and Jean have been cheering me up."

"Oh," said Dan, looking back and forth between Allison and Renee. "Are you...?"

"If you mean to ask if I'm dating them, the answer's yes," said Allison.

"Seriously?" said Dan angrily. "If I'd know you were into girls _and_ poly during high school I would have been all over you."

"Yeah," said Allison wistfully. "Same."

"I seem to remember you being more than a little stuck up," said Matt. "Didn't you look down on us townies?"

"Oh, I was awful," admitted Allison. "But I still would have hooked up with Dan."

"I can't fault your taste," said Matt.

"I guess I'll just be the one that got away," joked Dan.

Neil's eyes drifted over to Andrew before he realized what he was doing and forcibly made himself focus on the surrounding conversation. He didn't allow his gaze to wander for the remainder of the meal.

* * *

The nine of them made plans to go to the beach that afternoon. Thea, Dan, Allison, and Jean immediately staked out a section of the beach in order to sunbathe. Andrew set up an umbrella and retreated under it with a paperback, clearly not wanting the sun to touch any part of him. Renee, wearing a large, floppy hat, joined him.

Neither Neil nor Kevin were adept at sitting still for long periods of time, so they, along with Matt, decided to go swimming. Neil hesitated in taking off his shirt as the scars from his father's abuse were still a sore point with him. He reminded himself that he was among friends and had nothing to be ashamed about before holding his breath and stripping out of his t-shirt. As soon as it came off he was hit by a bottle of sunscreen that had been thrown from the direction of the umbrella. Looking over, he saw Andrew staring intently at his book and ignoring him completely. Touched, he covered himself in sunscreen before joining Matt and Kevin in the ocean where they spent an inordinate amount of time trying to gleefully drown each other.

Neil was exhausted in the evening, barely able to keep his eyes open through their late dinner. He had managed to get a slight sunburn on his shoulders and cheeks and nose; Matt insisted on slathering him in aloe lotion before sending him to bed. He slept like a log despite Kevin's weird sleep noises.

The next morning was spent much the same way as the afternoon before. After lunch Kevin whined enough that everyone barring Andrew agreed to play a game of beach volleyball. Neil was pretty sure that some of the others regretted agreeing to play almost instantly as Kevin was proved to be extremely competitive.

"You do realize that this isn't a competitive game?" asked Allison acidly after Kevin spiked the ball into the sand.

"What's the point of playing if you're not giving 100%?" replied Kevin.

"I don't know, _fun_?" suggested Allison.

"Winning is fun," said Kevin simply.

During the next serve, Dan's attempted spike was blocked by Jean and the ball headed out of bounds. Kevin raced after it blindly.

"Careful!" shouted Dan, just as Kevin threw himself onto the ground with his arm outstretched, trying to keep the ball alive.

He landed with a sickening crunch. There was a couple beats of stunned silence before he screamed in pain. Matt was closest and he rushed forwards, only to backpedal.

"Blood, blood, there's blood," he said, flapping his arms like a giant bird.

Neil pushed him towards the parking lot. "Wimp. Go get the first aid kit from your car," he instructed. He joined Dan at Kevin's side and examined the wound. Kevin's left arm had a compound fracture, the bone sticking up through the skin.

"Ouch," said Neil, wincing. "I can stabilize this but it's going to hurt. Does anyone have any alcohol?"

Andrew had wandered over to see what the commotion was and pulled a flask out of his pocket at Neil's question.

"Thanks," said Neil, taking it from him and briefly making eye contact. "He'll need to go to the hospital."

Andrew nodded and headed to get his car. Renee and Allison trailed him to start gathering up their belongings.

Matt came running up with the first aid kit. "Drink this," said Neil, shoving the flask at Kevin. He then used gauze to immobilize Kevin's arm as much as possible.

"This is nothing," Neil calmly said over Kevin's grunts of pain. "Remember that time I ricocheted the squash ball directly into your nuts? That was _real_ pain. This is barely a papercut."

"You're the worst," Kevin gritted out.

"So I've been told," said Neil, finishing up his bandage.

Kevin was a large man so it took Matt, Thea, and Jean working together to get him into Andrew's car without jostling his arm too much. Dan went in the car with Kevin, since she was technically his nearest relation (being the adopted daughter of his biological father).

The rest of them packed their two cars and followed. Neil was given several worried glances as he entered the ER. It took him a couple minutes to realize that his shirt was still covered in Kevin's blood. The intake nurse looked at him askance when he explained that it wasn't his blood after she rushed over to help him.

They found Dan alone in the waiting room, filling out paperwork on a clipboard. "They took him back to give him some pain meds while he waits for an x-ray," she said.

"His arm is clearly broken," scoffed Allison. "The bone was poking out of his skin!"

Dan shrugged. "Still needs an x-ray, apparently." She looked up at Allison. "You three don't have to stay. This is your vacation. It's probably going to take awhile and it's not like you know him."

Allison, Jean, and Renee had a quick conversation, held completely in glances and shrugging, before Allison answered, "Jean and I will go, but we'll bring you some food first."

"I'll wait until Andrew's ready to leave," added Renee.

Hospital waiting rooms were boring, Neil discovered. He and Matt made up a bunch of games to amuse themselves and ate all the snacks that Allison and Jean had dropped off. Neil was pretty sure that the clocks were all stopped.

Eventually Andrew showed up. "He's gone back for an x-ray," he said. "The doctor thinks he'll probably need surgery to put pins in to hold his wrist in place. Also, he's high as a kite. I'm not dealing with him anymore; someone else has to go keep him company."

Dan and Thea had a stare-off to decide who had to deal with a drugged up Kevin: his sort-of sister or his best friend. Thea huffed when she lost and stalked off to sit with Kevin.

Around dinner time Matt and Neil returned to the hotel so that Neil could change. Then they picked up take out and brought it back to the hospital. Thea had returned to the waiting room when they arrived as Kevin had been taken into surgery.

About an hour later Coach and Abby showed up, trailed by a white-faced Jeremy.

"Is he okay?" demanded Jeremy as soon as they were in earshot.

"It's a broken wrist, not a gunshot wound," said Thea grumpily.

"He's in surgery having it set," said Dan. "He'll be fine."

"In fact, he'll be all right," said Matt. "Get it? Because it's his left arm that's broken?" He waved his right hand. "All right?"

"We're breaking up," said Thea.

Coach gave them all an appraising look. "You all look exhausted," he said. "Why don't you head back to your hotel? We'll wait until he's out of surgery."

They tiredly agreed and said goodnight. On their way back to the parking lot Matt made plans with Renee to meet for breakfast the next day.

Neil had more trouble falling asleep that night. Blood didn't really bother him but he kept imagining the sick cracking sound that Kevin's arm had made when it had broken. His own arm had made that sound once when he was in the hands of his father.

Coach and Abby showed up for breakfast, bringing news of Kevin. His surgery had gone well but was still being kept in the hospital for another day of observation. The two of them and Jeremy were going to stay the night and then bring him home.

After breakfast Dan, Matt, Thea, and Neil decided to head back to Palmetto. With Coach, Abby, Jeremy, and Andrew around Kevin had no need of them and Neil was leaving for DC the following day.

"Sorry for ruining your vacation," said Dan ruefully as they took their leave.

"Pshaw," said Allison. "All vacations need at least one hospital trip."

They exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch and before he knew it Neil found himself in the back of the SUV headed toward Palmetto. As he stared out the window it dawned on him that he'd survived the summer. Unless Andrew stayed in Palmetto they probably wouldn't see each other again. He'd have expected himself to feel relieved upon this revelation, but instead all he felt was a bone deep weariness. In the chaos of leaving he hadn't even said goodbye.

* * *

Neil always experienced listlessness and melancholy when he returned from his summers away. Settling back into the daily grind of working all day before returning to his empty apartment was always difficult and this year seemed even more so.

"You're even mopier than usual," commented his friend Robin when they met up for coffee.

"I'm fine," he protested.

Robin just raised her eyebrow and gave him a skeptical look as she sipped her drink.

Neil relented. "This summer just brought up some stuff that I've been repressing." He sighed deeply. "I think I'm lonely."

"Get a cat," she advised.

He liked the idea of having a living thing to come home to so he contacted his friend Janie who volunteered at a no-kill animal shelter. She was so enthusiastic about Robin's idea that Neil shortly found himself bringing home two cats: a small, white calico and a fluffy tabby.

Having the cats helped. Robin and Janie also started forcing him to spend more time with them and, for some reason, Marissa. It turned out that the mysterious source that she had mentioned when she spoke to Neil at the hotel was actually Janie as the two of them were friends. Neil had nothing against her but he found it frustrating that she seemed completely impervious to his not-so-subtle hints that he wasn't interested in dating her. Either she was the most oblivious person on the planet or she was ridiculously optimistic about changing his mind.

Still, his thoughts were often in Palmetto, wondering what was going on there. The start of the school year was always a hectic time for them so he'd only exchanged a couple texts with Matt, Thea, and Dan over the last few weeks. He'd told them about his cats and sent pictures when they were demanded but he still missed them fiercely.

Which was why he waved stupidly at his computer when the Skype window showed the three of them squashed together on their couch so that they'd all fit into their laptop's camera view.

"Okay, first things first," said Matt. "I hung up the photo of your children that you sent-"

"They're cats, not children," interrupted Neil.

"-in my classroom and all my students agree that my nephew and niece are adorable."

"You're going to bring them here at Christmas, right?" said Dan.

" _But_ ," said Matt talking over her, "we decided that we'd have to rename them because the names you've given them are stupid."

"Whereas the names you came up with _aren't_ ," said Thea derisively.

"What's wrong with Stripes and Splotches?" asked Neil.

"It's like you didn't even try," complained Dan.

"My students came up with several potential names and we had a vote. Your cats are now named Sir Fat Cat McCatterson and King Fluffkins. You may decide which is which," Matt added magnanimously.

"That's great, Matt, thanks," said Neil insincerely, just as Stripes jumped into his lap and headbutted his chin. He seemed confused about who Neil was talking to in an empty apartment.

"Awww, aren't you adorable? I'm your Auntie Dan and we're going to see you at Christmas!" cooed Dan at the computer screen.

"The two of you are ridiculous," said Thea, unable to keep the fondness from bleeding into her tone.

"You're the one who chose to date us," said Dan. She turned back to face the camera. "Anyway, now that we're finished with Matt's nonsense, we have actual news." She shot a smug glance at Thea, who glowered. "Kevin and Jeremy are officially dating!"

"Oh," said Neil, completely nonplussed.

"Yup," drawled Thea. "Apparently Jeremy rushing to Kevin's side after his not-at-all-his-own-fault injury led to tearful love confessions all around."

"What about Andrew?" asked Neil, feeling as if his stomach had dropped out.

"According to Kevin they were never dating," said Dan, still radiating smugness.

"But Nicky says that Andrew's gone to stay with his brother instead of coming back to Palmetto, so maybe he didn't think it was quite as platonic as Kevin insists," said Thea.

"Please," said Dan dismissively. "Andrew clearly doesn't have feelings; Kevin's much better off with Jeremy anyway."

"You don't know that," said Neil hotly, surprising himself with his own vehemence. "You don't know his past. He's trying his best. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean he's incapable of love or that he doesn't deserve it." There was a stunned silence after Neil's outburst. He rubbed his hand over his face and through his hair. "Sorry," he muttered. "That was uncalled for."

"You're allowed to feel how you feel," said Dan cautiously.

"Still doesn't give me the right to yell at you," he said.

"Yes, well, somehow I'll manage to forgive you," she teased, before her expression turned serious. "Are you alright Neil? Truly?"

"I'm just… dealing with some stuff right now," he said reluctantly.

"Do you need me to come there?" asked Matt instantly. "I can be there before midnight if I leave now."

"You have to work tomorrow," Neil said.

"You can't really believe that work is more important to me than you are."

"No, it's fine," said Neil. "I think that this is something I have to work through by myself."

"Well, okay…" said Matt slowly. "But you don't _have_ to do it alone. If you can't talk to us, then maybe a neutral third party would be helpful."

"Matt," sighed Neil.

"I know you've been resistant to therapy, but something's been going on with you for the last couple months. It might help to get an outside opinion," Matt continued, ignoring him.

"Plus you've clearly still got unresolved issues about your mother," said Thea in an undertone. Matt elbowed her.

"No pressure, but I'll send you the name of a therapist that specializes in childhood trauma."

"Matt," said Neil again, unable to say anything else. He felt his eyes turn wet and he looked away from the camera.

"And we can drop the topic now," said Dan. "Tell us about your cats."

Neil looked at the three faces that were gazing back at him, full of worry and affection. He swallowed past the lump in his throat. "You guys know I appreciate you, right? And that I love you?"

That only succeeded in increasing the worry on their faces.

"Christ, are you dying?" Thea blurted.

Neil laughed wetly. "No, I'm fine," he said. "Or… I will be."

* * *

When Neil received the email with the information about the therapist from Matt he considered deleting it. But Thea's words had stuck with him. Andrew's reappearance in his life had unearthed a lot of long-buried feelings and a lot of them had to do with his mother. She had forced him to give up something good by threatening to leave him alone and then she had gone and done that anyway. He was so angry with her but he also missed her and perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to unload some of his swirling thoughts onto a professional.

The contact information that Matt sent didn't have a doctor's name, just a link to a website for a generic sounding Health and Wellness Centre. Neil wondered where Matt had found out about it but he wouldn't have been surprised to know that Matt kept an exhaustive list of everywhere in DC that Neil may one day need. He was pretty sure that he didn't deserve a friend like Matt.

Luckily he was able to make an appointment using their website; the odds of him actually going through with seeing the therapist decreased dramatically if he had to speak to someone on the phone.

The days leading up to his appointment had him vacillating between wanting to cancel it and wanting to get it over with. He kept reminding himself that this was something he was choosing to do for himself, that no one would be upset with him if he couldn't go through with it, that he could quit after the appointment if he didn't like it.

He was still thinking about cancelling the appointment as he walked into the office and checked in with the receptionist. He spent the entire time in the waiting room fidgeting wildly. He got dirty looks from some of the other patients and the seats on either side of him remained empty.

Finally, the receptionist called him back and led him to an empty office.

"Dr. Dobson will be right in," she said and left him there.

The name sounded oddly familiar but Neil couldn't quite put his finger on why until a plump, brown-haired woman walked into the room.

"Oh, fuck me," he exclaimed. "You're Andrew's mother."

Dr. Dobson had stopped at his exclamation, her brow furrowed in confusion. She looked down at his patient file and her face cleared. "You're that Neil, then?"

"Yeah, I'm _that_ Neil," he said, fighting hysteria. "I can't very well talk to you about how I'm not over my ex, now, can I?"

"That would probably be a conflict of interest," she said mildly.

Neil lost his fight to remain composed and started laughing wildly. "It's just, I was fine, right?" he said through his laughter. "I was doing just fine and then he suddenly showed up and dredged up all this stuff and now I can't escape it." He brought his laughter under control and wiped his face. "Fuck," he said. "I should go."

Dr. Dobson watched him thoughtfully for a couple moments. "I'm going to make you some tea," she said decisively. "Something soothing with no caffeine. And while you drink it and calm down I'll make a list of my colleagues and we'll discuss how to make sure your therapist is the best fit for you. Sound good?"

"Okay," he said, subdued now. He wanted to ask her how Andrew was doing, if Kevin had hurt him badly, if his innate pessimism was winning out over hope; however, he knew that he didn't have the right, that he was nothing to Andrew now, that they weren't even friends. Instead he sipped his tea and listened to what Dr. Dobson had to say.

* * *

About a month later Neil received a surprise text from Allison.

"A little birdie told me that you live in DC," she wrote after letting him know who was texting.

"Yes," he replied.

"So do we. Did you know that Kevin's in town next week?"

"Dan told me."

"We're having him over for food on Saturday. Are you in?"

"Sure," he texted back. He'd liked Allison when they'd met back in the summer and Renee and Jean seemed nice enough. Plus he was looking forward to seeing Kevin without the shadow of him dating Andrew hanging over his head. It had been uncomfortable not liking him all summer.

Allison proceeded to text him regularly over the next week. They quickly discovered that they worked close to each other and decided to meet for lunch. He enjoyed spending time with her, her snarky remarks making him snort out loud in amusement a couple times.

"I'm really annoyed that I was so snobby in high school," Allison lamented as they were finishing up. "I've missed out of years of you dragging strangers. You have to let me do something about your hair, though."

"What's wrong with my hair?"

"Who cuts it?" she asked judgmentally.

"I do," he said defensively.

"There you go," she said. "Come early on Saturday and I'll fix it for you."

He made a noncommittal noise which she obviously took for agreement. He later learned that arguing with her was almost impossible which was how he found himself in her washroom on Saturday afternoon trusting her with sharp scissors near his head. After she was finished she sent him out to show Renee and Jean her handiwork. He found them in the kitchen preparing dinner just as a knock sounded on the door.

"Can you get that, please, Neil?" said Renee. "It's probably Kevin."

Neil opened the door only to find Andrew on the other side. They both froze in surprise.

Andrew recovered first. "Neil," he said, his eyes flicking to his newly-cut hair.

"Andrew," Neil managed to say. "I thought you were at Aaron's."

"I was. I got a job in town."

"Congratulations," said Neil.

"I hear that congratulations are in order for you as well," Andrew replied almost snidely.

Neil wasn't sure what he meant; the only thing he'd done lately that deserved congratulations was to start seeing a therapist but he was certain that Andrew's mother wouldn't have told him about their chance meeting.

"What for?" he asked.

Andrew's response was cut off by the arrival of Kevin. "Neil," he said, giving him a once over. "You're looking skinny. Are you eating enough protein?" He then turned to Andrew, who did not seem surprised by his presence even though he had obviously not been expecting to see Neil. "Hey, Andrew." Kevin looked back at Neil. "See? Andrew's obviously been eating well and going to the gym regularly. I'll send you a meal plan."

"I'm going to ignore it," said Neil.

"Then I'll tell Matt that you are looking ill," said Kevin triumphantly.

Neil gasped. "You _wouldn't_."

"You're blocking the door, babe," said Jeremy from behind Kevin.

Neil moved aside and let everyone into the apartment. Jeremy kept a possessive hand on Kevin's arm and gave Andrew a challenging look as he greeted him. Andrew appeared mostly unaffected but slightly amused by the display.

Allison had emerged to act as host, getting everyone settled before leaving to make them drinks. The four of them sat in an awkward silence that Kevin seemed immune to.

"I hear you have a girlfriend now," he said to Neil.

"I have a what now?" asked Neil, flabbergasted. "Who told you that?"

"Nicky heard it from Aaron's girlfriend who is best friends with yours."

"She's mistaken."

"No, she was quite sure," said Kevin.

"I think Neil would know," said Jeremy gently.

"She said that you went to college together and reconnected lately," said Kevin. "M-something. Melissa?"

"Marissa?" asked Neil. "Is she telling people that we're dating? If we are, it's only in her mind. I'm not interested in her in the slightest."

"But then you're interested in nobody, right?" chuckled Jeremy.

Neil managed to keep his eyes away from Andrew through sheer force of will. "I wouldn't say nobody."

"That sounds like interesting gossip," said Allison, bringing them their drinks. "Come on, Neil, tell us all about your love life."

"Or not," said Neil.

Allison started to protest but Renee and Jean entered the room which provided a convenient distraction. Neil's love life was forgotten and he hoped it wouldn't be discussed again.

He wasn't so lucky. Allison cornered him after dinner to ask him all about the mystery person he was interested in.

"Drop it," he said warningly.

"You really should know me better than that," she scoffed.

"It's not an interesting story," he protested. "I've had feelings for exactly one person, ever, and I stupidly broke up with him for no good reason. Now I'm doomed to pine forever while he moves on."

"Oof," she said. "And you can't tell him you made a mistake?"

"No."

"Why; does he hate you now?"

"Worse," said Neil wryly. "He's indifferent to me."

Andrew entered the room, an inscrutable expression on his face. Neil's heart stopped, wondering how much his confession Andrew had heard.

"I'm going for a smoke," Andrew announced, giving Neil an intense stare.

"Ooookay…" said Allison.

Andrew fidgeted with his lighter for a couple seconds. "Neil?" he prompted.

Neil had been hoping to spontaneously be swallowed up by the floor but that didn't seem to be happening. He might as well let Andrew tell him to stop being so pathetic and to stay away from him from now on.

He followed Andrew into the stairwell and then up a couple flights of stairs until they reached the roof access. Andrew jimmied the lock and propped the door open so they wouldn't be trapped up there.

Andrew paced, lighting cigarette after cigarette only to stub them out after a couple puffs. Neil stood and waited, unnerved by Andrew's obvious distress.

"I'm not indifferent to you," Andrew finally said.

"Oh," said Neil, unable to come up with anything else to say but Andrew seemed to be waiting for something. "Okay?" he tried.

Andrew paused. "It _was_ me you were talking about before?" he asked. At Neil's hesitant nod, he practically growled, "How can you not know?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Andrew strode to the edge of the roof and looked down. He lit another cigarette. "You're a pipe dream who has already left me once. I should know better. I _do_ know better," he muttered, almost to himself. He suddenly seemed to make up his mind. He tossed his cigarette over the side of the building and stalked back to where Neil was still standing in confusion. "Yes or no?" he asked.

"Yes," said Neil instantly, still not completely sure what was happening.

Andrew kissed him like he was proving a point or instigating a fight. Neil let him do as he wished, melting into the only kisses he'd ever wanted. He kissed back desperately in case this was the only time this happened. He remembered to keep his hands to himself, twisting his fingers in his sleeves to prevent them from reaching out.

When Andrew pulled back the look he gave Neil was pure, intense want.

"What about Kevin?" asked Neil.

"Do not talk about Kevin when I'm kissing you," said Andrew.

"I thought you guys were dating," said Neil, faltering slightly at Andrew's blank expression. "In the summer?"

"Why would you think such an absurd thing?"

"You came to training sessions for him, which you hate."

Andrew hooked his hands around either side of Neil's neck, running his thumb along his jawline. "You were there. I thought I was being obvious."

"You left as soon as he started dating Jeremy."

"I left when you did."

"But you never talked to me and you barely even looked at me all summer."

"I thought you didn't want me. I didn't want you to know that I still wanted you."

"I've always wanted you," said Neil, swallowing heavily. "I'm sorry."

"Your guilt is useless."

"I never should have listened to my mother and ended things between us. I've regretted it since the moment I did it."

"Regret is also useless," said Andrew. "Are you going to stay this time?"

"Yes," said Neil fervently. "I promise."

"Then it's forgiven."

"That easily? I made us waste so much time."

"If I had argued with you or come back for you when I heard that your mother had passed, would you have changed your mind?"

"Would I?" asked Neil incredulously.

"Then I wasted time being angry and hurt." Andrew pulled him closer by the waist. "Let's not waste any more," he said and kissed Neil again.


	2. Two Tiny Epilogues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> By popular demand

"Hey," said Neil, answering the Skype call slightly breathlessly.

"Are you alright?" asked Matt instantly. "You look flushed. Are you feverish?"

"I'm fine," said Neil rolling his eyes.

"Are you sure? You could - what's that sound?" Matt cut himself off. "Are those your cats? Are they okay?"

"Oh," said Neil looking over his shoulder into the kitchen where his cats were currently making spectacles of themselves. "Yeah, they're just crying for milk."

"Crying for…" Matt's eyes were wide and he lowered his voice to a whisper. "Is someone in your kitchen?"

"Yeah, about that," said Neil, scrubbing a hand through his hair. "I've been seeing someone."

"You've been-" said Dan.

"I thought Nicky was full of shit!" exclaimed Thea.

"And you didn't _tell_ us?!?!" shouted Matt.

"I'm telling you now," said Neil.

"Who is it?" demanded Matt. "That girl, Marissa? I thought you weren't interested in her? What do we even know about her? Are you sure she's good enough for you?"

"Calm down, hon," said Dan, before turning a stern gaze at Neil. "Well? Who is this girl?"

"I'm not seeing Marissa," said Neil. "I'm with Andrew." He couldn't help the satisfied grin that came over his face.

The three of them stared back blankly. "Andrew…?" said Matt. "Andrew who?"

"Seriously?" asked Neil. "Andrew! You know Andrew. Nicky's cousin Andrew?"

"Andrew Minyard?" asked Matt incredulously.

"Kevin's ex?" said Thea dubiously. “Have the two of you even spoken to each other before?”

"He and Kevin were never dating," said Neil. "Technically he was _my_ ex."

"What?" asked Dan sharply.

"Andrew Minyard?" said Matt, still stuck in disbelief.

"Yeah, we dated the summer I was eighteen. My mum made me dump him so I never told you about it," said Neil hurriedly, wanting to tear off the band-aid.

" _What_?!" repeated Dan.

"But we're back together now and I'm going to go make out with him some more, so I'll call you guys later!" Neil tripped over his words with how quickly he was speaking.

" _Andrew Minyard_?!" Matt squeaked just as Neil disconnected the call and closed his laptop.

He turned to find Andrew watching him from the entrance to the kitchen, the cats still twining around his ankles staring at his glass of milk. He was dressed in Neil's too-long-for-him sweats and one of Neil's old ratty hoodies and Neil thrilled to see him so comfortable in his clothes and in his space. They'd been spending most of their time at Neil's apartment as Andrew had moved back in with his mother when he'd gotten a job in town. Neil knew that it was too soon to invite him to move in but he wanted him there all the time.

"I think that went well," said Neil sheepishly. "I'll let them stew on it for a bit."

Andrew's expression was placid but there was something in his tone when he asked, "What if they don't approve?"

"Then I'll tell them that I'm an adult who makes my own decisions," said Neil, getting off the couch and walking across the room to Andrew. He looped his arms around his neck. "I'm not eighteen anymore; no one is going to persuade me to break up with you ever again."

 

Andrew stood by the bar and waved to get the bartender's attention. The place was packed and people kept jostling up against him, much to his displeasure.

As he ordered a whisky he heard a commotion behind him. Turning to look his heart lurched when he caught sight of Neil. He had just arrived, smiling happily and flushed from the brisk air outdoors. Andrew turned back to the bar wondering whether he should see a cardiologist. It couldn't be normal that his heart still reacted so strongly to a glimpse of a pipe dream that he'd met as a teenager. He'd never understood how even after their breakup the thought of Neil could affect him so much.

The bartender handed him his drink and followed his gaze. "You know the pretty boy?" he asked.

Andrew threw back the whisky and gestured for a second one. "He's my ex-boyfriend."

The bartender grimaced at where Neil was being enthusiastically kissed hello. He poured Andrew's second drink. "On the house," he said in sympathy. Then he scribbled his number on a napkin. "I could help you forget about him?" he added coyly, passing it over to Andrew.

"I doubt it," said Andrew, balling up the napkin and dropping it on the floor. In their years apart he'd never successfully found anything that could make him forget Neil.

He made his way back over to his table only to find that his chair had been stolen.

"You didn't bring drinks for the rest of us?" asked Allison.

He shrugged. "You gave away my seat."

"We didn't think you'd mind," said Renee.

Neil looked up at him from what had been his chair, his cheeks still bearing pink lipstick smudges from Allison's greeting. He stood slowly and then gestured at the empty chair somehow managing to make his movement sarcastic. "All yours," he said.

Andrew sat and hooked his arm around Neil's waist, pulling him into his lap. Neil leaned back against him and tangled the fingers of their left hands together.

Andrew ran him thumb along the plain metal band on Neil's fourth finger; he preferred to wear his own ring on a chain around his neck.

"Happy Birthday," he murmured into his husband's ear.

"I saw you got the bartender's number," said Neil, with definite amusement in his voice.

"I didn't think you were watching."

"I'm always watching you."

Andrew tightened his hold. "Doesn't matter," he said. "I want none but you."

**Author's Note:**

> I can be found on tumblr [@gluupor](http://gluupor.tumblr.com).
> 
> Here's a picture of my very own Stripes and Splotches (their real names are Oscar and Zoe but I usually call them Scruffy and the Meat Cat for obscure reasons).


End file.
